It had been seven months since she had been raped, and her body showed it in almost every detail. Her stomach was swollen, along with her newly large breasts. Her hips were rounder, more defined, and her eyes that now showed the weariness, fear, and wisdom that came as a by-product of her experiences.
Even so, she still resolved to live and went on time to every appointment she made. She finished her work schedule and then proceeded to attend the monthly checkup to see how the parasite in her was faring. Even though she did hate it, she could not value her life above it and kill it off as if it were a mere mosquito sucking her blood. Even if it did resemble it in every aspect.
Today, as she made her way, she felt especially heavy, but she also felt oddly calm. Maybe something good would happen today. Unsurprisingly, she had a new maternity doctor at the free hospital she went to.
He was tall and pale, though his hair was dark, Asian. His eyes were hidden behind stylish, yet smart, spectacles. He could only be described as rakish, in a geeky fashion.
'Yes, Mrs. Ewlyn?' he queried when she walked in the door. His voice was calm, like her mood, and quiet, as if she would shatter if he spoke at any different, higher volume.
She mumbled a reply. 'No, I'm not married, I am sincerely sorry for the mistake...' blushing slightly at what he might infer about her current situation.
Why would I care what he thinks? It won't change my world.
He merely nodded his head, making a note on his papers.
'Please lie down here,' he said soothingly as he gestured to the bed located in the middle of the room, an ultrasound placed near it, easy to reach and easy to access from the side of the bed where he would sit.
Once again, she mumbled a reply and slid silently into position.
He walked to the side of the bed, later, and sat in his swivel chair gracefully. She watched his every move, wide-eyed in fascination. Smoothly, and assuredly, he spread the orange goop on her belly, his touch heating her distended belly. Unbidden, and astonishingly, her body responded sexually. Her skin tightened, her breaths became shorter, faster, heart-achingly desirable.
This moment, he showed emotion. Surprised, he looked, concerned, to the BP screen. Seeing that nothing was changing too abnormally, he continued on his work. For the rest of the appointment, he blandly pointed out key factors of the baby and how she should be taking care of her body. He briefly wrote in the progress file and dismissed her.
By the time he was over, she had become increasingly apprehensive. After only half a year, how could her body so easily forget the desolation she went through and respond in such a way to a man’s touch?
No wonder she had felt different today. She matched this feeling with the feeling she had that day, seven months ago. There was nothing good to come with these feelings. Only unlucky events would happen to her now. Alone, she faces the world, resolute.